Wednesday, June 4, 2008

How To Save Our Marriage - Searching For Answers

By Susan Wise Complacency is a big problem I discovered in a marriage. If you have ever been at a point in your marriage where you just wonder why you are still there, then something is amiss. My spouse and I ran into that problem and instead of taking the low road of divorce, we decided to figure out how to save our marriage. The road to enlightenment can be painful and it definitely was for us. However, it also made us stronger. We learned the warning signs of complacency and tried to steer ourselves around them as one way on how to save our marriage. Complacency occurs when you take things for granted. Instead of taking the time to truly notice your partner, you are secure in the knowledge that they are always there for you. Unfortunately, that was not the right track on how to save our marriage as it turned out. We both realized that we interpreted love in different ways. I discovered that physical touches, whether it be hugs, kisses or just holding my hand, went a long way towards making me feel loved. However, my spouse just wanted a sounding board, someone to listen without interjecting thoughts or opinions unless asking for them, someone to accept who they were unconditionally. Once we discovered that we were just not feeling the love from each other, we were able to take a good first step to solving our how to save our marriage problem. For me, I found out just how hard it was to keep from interjecting my thoughts and opinions and judgment while my spouse unloaded troubles. For my spouse, a conscious effort was made to pick up my hand while watching a show on TV or remembering to give me kiss before leaving for work. After several months of consciously working out how to save our marriage via this method, we discovered something. We started showing our love without realizing that we were doing it! It became ingrained in our lives. Now, if a day goes by that we dont show our love for each other, we call each other on it and talk about why it could have happened. Instead of shying away from the problem, we now embraced it. If you have the same burning question, How to save our marriage, you are not alone. There are millions of couples who know there is a problem in their marriage, but just do not know exactly what to do. The first step to enlightenment is to write down what you perceive the problem to be. Write down what is missing from your marriage. Chances are that several of the same things will pop up on both your list and that of your spouse. From there, you have a good idea on ways to solve that how to save our marriage issue. Remember that divorce should never be an option, unless it is extenuating circumstances like abuse. The old adage, where there is a will, there is a way comes to mind. How to save our marriage started with a vague discomfort for my spouse and me. However, you may or may not have let things escalate until you feel it is too late. Trust me, if both you and your spouse want to make things better, it is not too late. Susan Wise is the exclusive author http://www.thebestinmarriage.com If you would like more information on How To Save Our Marriage you can visit the website for additional information and resources. Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Susan_Wise http://EzineArticles.com/?How-To-Save-Our-Marriage—Searching-For-Answers&id=432505 submit a site payday loan online loan officer new york -guide -directory -jobs florida online car loan loan interest short term loans
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